Keeping it Real...

I thought about what to say about today.
The truth is, my horses were perfect.
The truth is also that their dressage scores did not reflect this.
I could write what my instinct is to write, something like "oh great day to brush off the cobwebs, both horses were rusty!" la di da, everything perfect. BS.
Beast was a star. She probably had the best test she has ever had. Her back was a bit tight due to the cold. I did a walk transition in the wrong spot (mixed up Callie's and Beasts) and also a canter transition a bit early. But other then that, I was so proud.
Her score sucked. The truth? The truth is Beast is never going to score brilliantly in dressage with out a lot of hard, HARD work. It is something we really have to work for. Although we have made a ton of progress, her scores will often be less then stellar.
That was a hard realization. Beast and my dressage, at it's best, will often be mediocre. I accept this for being what it is right now. However, I will not accept it for being what it is permanently. I view dressage as that stupid lady at the DMV that I had to deal with the other day.
"ohhhh sorry, no can help you."
"ohhhhh no, so sorry, no can help you." I heard that about 7 times. I have learned if I keep smiling, even when I want to tantrum or cry, and keep pushing, I succeed.
(I got the supervisor at the DMV and she did help me in case you are wondering)
The truth is also. I am a dork. I am so competitive, I really do care how I perform at a little unrecognized combined test, first outing of the season. I said it, I own it.
I rode that show jumping as seriously as the Olympics. BUT I went clean at the Olympics! Reality is perception.
Beast was relaxed, perfectly rideable, and jumped liked a million dollars. I was so proud.

Callie was a little star. After my little freak out of receiving a (gasp) 41 on her dressage, I had an epiphany.
No matter how amazing you think your new star is. Now matter how amazing your new star may be. No matter how amazing your new star may have been for 85% of the test, it is hard to score in the 20's when she.......tantrums for a hot second in the canter, hates the cold touching her California princess skin, has a rider that again misses her locations for transitions. I think I also over rode her, I can't try for so much trot on such a green horse that's all legs. It freaks her out.
Callie however did not tantrum much in warm up. Only once.
Callie also show jumped like a million dollars. So much progress in such a short time.

Emily won on Jazz. Again!
She looked amazing. I am so proud of her. Her show jumping was amazing (and clean).
Emily won on Charlie also. While she didn't get a blue ribbon from Loch moy, she won against him in the dressage warm up. He was a stinker. A leaping, flying, whinnying stinker. She did her test with class. Then proceeded to amaze me with a second wonderful and clean round in show jumping.

Katie did her very first combined test! She rode Riley, and did an amazing job. Her dressage was wonderful, and her show jumping, I just can't say enough about it. She had a clean round! Riley sored over those jumps (even a sweedish oxer!). I think this may have been Riley's first clean round! Congrats Katie! Tomorrow, he gets to go Fox Hunting! Lucky Horse, two days of fun!

Team Red Hawke all went clean!

I got teary eyed after my two horses went. They really have tried hard and have come so far. I got teary eyed when Katie and Emily went. ( I sneak away now though before the tears get going. I am not a fan of emotional displays. Not saying I don't do it all the time, it just makes me uncomfortable. Like an awkward silence with my self).

So to sum it up, I had a wonderful day. I accept that I am freakishly competitive. I own it and I realize it and I embrace it! I want to do well at my job. I want to do well for my horses. I love them, I work hard every day to try to achieve the most that I can. I work hard every day to be the best that I can be. I want so badly to achieve my goals. I have to remember though, these are steps to my goals. I have to enjoy these steps and see them for what they are.
I told Beast and Callie they both won today. That is what happened. I create my own reality.Its a wonderful place to be.


I love my Dave that came all day. I have the best husband and appreciate it more then words can express.
I am so thankful that my wonderful friend Sharon came to help me swap horses, tack, concepts of running horses to establish a connection ;)
I am happy to have had Kristen and her student parked near me to chat with. Kristen also helped me get Beasty ready!
I was happy to have the great and powerful organizer Alexis there to keep everyone ship shape, and graze Knickerbocker the "sitter".

Such a great group at this event.

To top it all of, Alexa came and did my hair tonight! BEST HAIR DRESSER EVER!!!!!! HOLLARRRRRRR.
I think I also talked her into coming to Callies shows to be my lucky charm/lunger. Fingers crossed!
Tomorrow, I will hang out with Dave and Maggie, and have a rare Sunday off.
Thank god for Darenth farm, and the knowledge that my horses get the best care imaginable.
I have so much to be thankful for. I am truly happy. Right now, at this moment, I am truly content.
It's like Phylis Dawson says "Invest in the journey, not the destination".